An Interview with the Bruise-Guard

Mikey and Sunshine sat down with the Bruise-Guard to ask him a few questions, questions that have lingered in our minds. And this is what he had to say.

Question: First off, what’s with the hair and fake cigarette? And who is that demonic figure in the background?

Answer: Its the hair I used to have. I never did smoke and I always wanted to be cool. The demonic figure in the background is Conky, my favourite character from The Trailer Park Boys. (Sunshine you can’t watch that show till you are 30. And by the way, there is no way that a fake cigarette improves your cool factor!!)

Question: Where are you from?

Answer: I was born and raised in Winnipeg. I moved out when I no longer had hair like it is in the picture.

Question: When were you last back to the Peg?

Answer: I went back to see the folks two weeks ago. (It was actually a pretty good trip.)

Question: What was the highlight of your trip?

Answer: Getting on the plane for Vancouver!!

Question: What’s so bad about Winnipeg?

Answer: Ten feet of snow and forty below in the winter, super hot in the summer with mosquitoes big enough to carry you away, poison ivy, a winter’s accumulation of dog poop melting in the spring thaw, along with the floods, ooh it’s hard to pick just one thing.

Question: Really?? OK, what is good about it?

Answer: People are really friendly, it’s a survival thing.  (Bruise-guard then went on to talk at length about the fall in Manitoba, so despite what he says in this interview I suspect he actually has some good memories and some good things to say.)

So, this interview kind of ended on a mildly confused note, and please, no offence Winnipeg, which is a fine place and has produced some very fine people!!


3 thoughts on “An Interview with the Bruise-Guard

  1. mom October 22, 2011 / 3:49 pm

    Where can I find one? Actually that picture looks familiar, have I seen it before?

    • Grant October 22, 2011 / 4:05 pm

      Why yes, I do believe you may have seen that lovely portrait of your thoughtful SIL in the past! In terms of finding a Conky, they may have been a “limited edition” (I hope)

  2. Sista October 22, 2011 / 5:49 pm

    Wow, I do remeber when you had hair back in the day! You were always cool too!

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